A Flirtation with Fire
by scubysnak
Summary: Olivia fights temptation when Alex asks her to fulfill a fantasyAO. Ch 5 & 6 are up
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own the characters--Dick Wolf does.

**POV: **Mixed...some from Olivia...some from Alex

**Pairing:** Olivia/Alex ---and a little bit of Abbie

**Author's Note**: This is my first attempt at fan fiction. Reviews are appreciated. Please be nice :-)

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****Alex POV**

With every step she climbed, her heart raced. Not so much from the exertion she was putting forth to get to her destination, but with fear. "A flirtation with fire," as Liv put it. "I'm not going to do it. You can't expect me to put myself in a position that mimics the one that brought me into this world. I won't do it. I don't care what your fantasy is. You need to get over it. As a matter of fact, I think me...you, we just need to get over us." With that, she stormed out of my apartment.

Her angry words resounded in my head. She simply failed to understand what I was asking of her. She thought I was asking her to cross over into this dark, unknown place that would test her ability to fight demons she had long sought to forget—or never know. I thought all I was doing was asking her to own me, to possess me—to take what I had for months longed to give her.

Since that day she left, I hadn't seen her. Sure, I caught glimpses of her. After all, we both lived and worked in the same city. What made it worse was that we both worked for the same boss—the City of New York. What's worse yet, I was (and still am) the prosecutor for the Special Victims Unit that Liv works in. This alone should have ensured that we'd see each other on a regular basis. I mean, after all, I'm responsible for making sure they have the warrants they need and for sending the bad guys (and girls) to jail that they arrest. They collect the evidence and I make sure I can use it to nail the bastards to the wall. Sadly, even this wasn't enough to bring me into contact with Liv.

The morning after she stormed out of my apartment, obviously hurt by my request and indignant at my insistence that she fulfill it, I fully expected to see her at the precinct. My expectations were sadly unmet. I knew that if I could explain myself—as I failed previously to do—we could smooth over any problem we were having. Her partner told me that she had gone to the M.E.s office to pick up some paperwork and then had a lunch date with an old friend that was in town. Date? Did he say date? Hoping that my shock and jealousy didn't register with him, I quickly turned and left. I tried twice that day to call Liv. Each time her partner answered the phone and readily had some excuse available as to why she couldn't answer her own phone. Dejected and feeling rejected after my last call to the precinct, I called her cell. The voicemail picked up right away. Sigh. "Liv, I know you're not answering your phone and you're making El give me bogus excuses. Let's be adults here. Call me. I need …I need to talk to you. This isn't fair. Please." I hung up.

I worked for a few more hours, as I often did when I needed to clear my head of whatever was bothering me. I packed a few files into my briefcase, grabbed my purse and jacket and headed for the door. _I can't believe I let her have this effect on me. What was that?_ I turned to look behind me, convinced that someone had been in the hallway watching me. _It's late Cabot. Get your ass out of here and head home._

I decided to chance walking home. I was only a few blocks from my apartment and it was a cool, but not cold, September evening. Past the park, two blocks down, turn left, one block, turn left again. I'd taken this route home so many times, I could probably walk it with my eyes closed. _What is that noise? I swear-- I must be hearing things. If I didn't know better, I'd swear someone was following me._

**Olivia POV**

"A flirtation with fire," I said. "I'm not going to do it. You can't expect me to put myself in a position that mimics the one that brought me into this world. I won't do it. I don't care what your fantasy is. You need to get over it. As a matter of fact, I think me...you, we just need to get over us." The words burned my throat, my heart and my soul as they flew from my mouth. _How can she ask me to do this?_ I didn't even wait for her to respond. I simply stormed out of her apartment. She knows. She knows better than to ask something like this of me. Anything. Anything else, I'd do it for her. I'd lay down my life for hers, but I can't tempt the beast that I know lies within my being. How many times have I seen the molested become molesters themselves? It's playing with fire. And when you play with fire, someone always gets burned. I couldn't live with myself if it Alex ended up hurt by this.

How close had I come to crossing that line before? How hard had it been not to cross it? But to even fathom life without her? I can't do it. She has to be in my life. That leaves only one option.

_She wants me to do this. Fine, I'll do it. But she's going to get the full effect. I'll stop taking her phone calls. I'll stop returning them, too. I'll even make it a point to be seen with some other woman._ _That'll teach her. She needs to learn how dangerous it is to mess with fire._

"El, I need to run by the M.E.s office and then I'm having lunch with an old friend, Abbie. If anyone calls or stops by, please tell them this."

"By anyone, I assume you mean Alex. What happened between you two? Something wrong? You can tell your partner. Besides, you know I'm a married man. I need something to get me excited these days," Elliot teased his partner.

"Yes, I do mean Alex. Yes, something happened between us. And no, nothing is wrong. I just need your help for a few days or more. I need you to help keep Alex away from me. Can ya do that for me, partner Oh, and can you take her to Café du Jour for lunch today?"

"Yeah, Liv. I'm pretty sure I can handle that," Elliot agreed.

Alright, now I had to make sure Abbie could join me for lunch. And I had to make sure we'd be seen by Alex. Abbie and I had a 'thing' once. It ended amicably enough, and I know how much she hates Alex. I know she'll help me out with this.

"Abbie, I need your help…Alex and I had a falling out…Yeah, I know what you told me about those 'high-bred bitches'…No, I don't want to have a quickie with you, besides nothing was ever quick where we were concerned… laughing …good point…Look, can you meet me for lunch today and be a little overly affectionate? …. great…I owe you…."

Well, that takes care of lunch. Elliot promised he'd get Alex to go to lunch with him. Alex has a jealous streak a mile wide and nothing will set her off worse than seeing me with an ex so soon after a fight.

**Alex POV**

"Elliot, I'm not really in the mood for lunch with you today. Liv and I …. Oh, you know already…I'm just not in the mood to sit and listen to you trying to talk me into forgiving her again…A working lunch?...Your treat? …. Okay…Café du Jour at noon…See ya there."

I finished my work early and decided to walk to the restaurant. It's unlike Elliot to insist so mightily on lunch. I guess with Liv being otherwise engaged today, I'm supposed to keep him occupied. He's good for a few jokes and he'll definitely keep my mind off of Liv. _My Liv, how could I have been so insensitive to keep insisting? I hope I haven't driven her away._

I walked into the restaurant and was quickly met by Elliot's wide grin. "Took you long enough to get here. I've been waiting forever."

"Give me a break. I'm just a couple of minutes late."

We were seated at a corner table by the window and engaged in friendly chatter about work and Elliot's kids. _Who the hell is that? And why the hell is she holding Liv's hand?_ Elliot must have noticed the change in my expression and asked if I was okay. I nodded yes and tried desperately to keep up my end of the conversation. Never once did she even look around the restaurant. She just held the gaze of the stunning brunette in front of her. They reached across the table and touched each other familiarly more than once. _Who is that woman? And why didn't Liv ever mention her? So soon, not even 12 hours after she tells me we're through and she's out with this woman. What the hell?... My god, that's Abbie Carmichael. I thought she was in Washington, D.C. She and Liv used to work together, but it certainly looks like they did more than 'work' together._

"Elliot, is that Abbie Carmichael with Liv over there?"

"Shit Alex, we should probably go. I didn't know they'd be here." Elliot managed to get the attention of our waiter and told him we needed our lunches to go. He quickly obliged and Elliot paid the bill and we left.

He spoke before I ever had the chance as we walked in silence toward the park. "Alex, you know how private Liv is. I dunno how much of her past she's told you about. And I might be outta line here, but you have a right to know. I can tell you're hurting—no matter how hard you try to put on that prosecutor's face right now. Liv and Abbie had a thing back when Abbie was an ADA. laughing I guess she's had a thing for ADAs. Anyway, I don't know what happened between you two, and honestly, it doesn't really matter one way or the other. Abbie and Liv hook up whenever Abbie is back in town. Well, they used to anyway. But, in case you haven't heard, Abbie took a job back here with some big-wig law firm. Looks like she's moved back into town…and back into Liv's bed. The only reason they ever split up was because Abbie moved to D.C."

_She never told me about Abbie Carmichael. I wonder why. And I wonder why she'd do this to me, so soon._

"Elliot, thanks for lunch, but I should really head back to the office. I have a couple of important cases coming up in the next couple of weeks. Look, don't tell Liv what we saw or my reaction. The last thing I want is her knowing what this …that…you know?" And with that I walked away, not even waiting for his response.

**Olivia POV**

"Give me a sec, I need to answer this," Liv said to Abbie. "Benson," she said as she flipped the phone open and held it to her ear. "She took the bait? ...Excellent….She was?...I know you hate being in this position, El, but I really appreciate it….You told her what? …Jesus, El, she didn't need to know that we used to sleep together….Yeah, alright…See you back at the precinct in a little bit."

If I know her, she'll be pouting and pouring herself into her work. "Abbie, are you up for a visit to the DAs office? We'll have to walk right past her office to get to Jack's and…."

"Liv, I love the way you think. You must have it bad for this woman. And even if I can't stand her, I'm at least willing to make her feel like shit if it means you can get her back."

We paid our bill and walked to the DAs office. As we stepped out of the elevator onto the floor where Alex and Jack's offices were, Alex walked out of her office. Almost on cue, Abbie took my hand and said, "I wish I had never left New York." I thought my world would crumble as I saw the hurt and humiliated look on Alex's face. I wanted to run to her right then and tell her this was all a ruse. But, I couldn't. This is the game she wanted to play. And I'm making up the rules as I go along. I left Abbie with Jack and headed back to the precinct with a heavy heart and a plan in mind.

If I knew Alex (and I'm certain that if anyone did, it was me), she'd try to forget about the happenings of the last few hours by drowning herself in her work. I decided to wait across the street from her office and hide in the shadows. I'd follow her home tonight. Slinking along behind her in the shadows. I want her to be wary, fearful that something might happen. I want her to walk into her apartment and feel safe. And that's when I'll fulfill her fantasy.

She waited for her to exit the building and began to follow her. Liv measured every step, taking care to stay in the shadows and unseen by Alex. When Alex stopped, Liv stopped. She knew this would scare the shit out of her, but she needed to be afraid. She had no idea what she had asked of Liv and no idea what lengths Liv would go to for her. Hopefully, she would not end up regretting her request.

_Benson, you better know what you're doing. Once you let the genie out of the bottle, there's not putting it back in. You've fought all your life to suppress this demon that your father's seed had planted in you. And now you were being asked to do the very thing that had brought you into this world—to take Alex, by surprise, forcefully, and without her permission. I could stop this now, and never have to worry about recorking the bottle. But, I've never been able to say no where Alex is concerned…and there's no sense in starting now._

Alex rounded the last corner, still questioning her sanity. As she was about to enter her building, she paused, and walked past it. Liv watched as she walked into the bodego on the corner. This presented a perfect opportunity for Liv as she entered Alex's building and took the elevator to her floor. She took out her keys and let herself in. Wasting no time, she loosened a few light bulbs, ensuring that Alex would enter a dark room. She shed her leather jacket and waited behind the door.

For what seemed like an eternity, Liv stood there and waited for Alex to enter her apartment. She breathed a slight sigh of relief and felt a nervous rush of adrenaline as she heard the familiar 'click' of Alex's heels in the stone hallway. The clanking of keys and hushed profanities as Alex dropped them at the door almost made Liv laugh, but she stifled it. A few more seconds passed and the door swung open. Alex walked in, shutting the door behind her with her foot. She had a couple of bags in her arms and made her way to the kitchen counter to put the bags down. She turned to walk back to the foyer to turn on the lights when she felt herself being forcefully thrown forward against a wall. All the air was forced from her lungs, and she was pinned so firmly against the wall, she couldn't even gasp for help, much less yell.

Before she was able to put up a fight, a blindfold had been slipped over her eyes. Although her attacker hadn't restrained her arms, fear overtook her when she heard the distinctive sound of a slide on an automatic handgun. She felt herself go weak, and any breath that had remained escaped as she felt the gun press into her side. She knew instinctively that survival was of the utmost importance in this situation and she would submit without a fight.

Liv put the gun away, placing it in the back of her jeans. It wasn't loaded, but she felt Alex go cold in her clutches when she cocked it and go weak in the knees when she pressed it into her side. There was no turning back now.

She kicked Alex's feet apart. With one hand between her shoulder blades pressing her into the wall, Liv use the other hand to slide her skirt up to her waist and in one swift jerk, ripped her panties from her. She felt Alex jump as the thin layer of protection between her and her attacker was violently removed. Despite the effect it was having on Alex, it only encouraged Liv. She pressed Alex into the wall harder. She slid a hand down over her rear and between her legs. Leaving her hand to rest there, she used the full weight of her body to press Alex against the wall. With her free hand, Liv grabbed a handful of Alex's hair and pulled hard, exposing her neck. She leaned in and hungrily bit at her neck. She felt Alex's body go stiff, terror was gripping her.

_It's now or never_. _I can't hurt her, but she deserves to get what she's been begging for_.

Liv turned Alex around and pinned her back against the wall. She slid her hand down the front of Alex's tailored business suit, ripping buttons that had been so neatly sewn on mere seconds before. Before buttons could even hit the floor, Liv's hand had torn the black lace bra from Alex's diminutive frame.

_Black lace, nice. I guess you want to walk on the wild side._

An experienced hand savagely clutched at Alex's breasts. Liv pinched and twisted Alex's nipples until she cried out in pain, _or was it passion_. Liv had been watching the torrent of emotions sweep over Alex's face in the dim light of the foyer. She loved this woman, but the intensity of this event was clouding Liv's judgment. She wanted to hurt Alex, wanted her to know exactly what it was that she had been asking for. She bent her head and took one nipple between her teeth. Lightly at first, she bit down. She was applying more pressure with her teeth with each passing millisecond. One hand was still on Alex's other breast and the other had once again snaked its way between her legs and rested there, waiting for Liv to decide when to take her. At the same instant that Liv tugged on the nipple in her mouth with her teeth, she twisted the other one hard. And as Alex arched against her in pain (and obvious pleasure—Alex never had been able to disguise being turned on), Liv slid two fingers deep inside her. As she slid in, her thumb slid over Alex's clit, eliciting a guttural moan from the blonde now in her grip. Her pace was slow at first, sliding in and out with her thumb moving magically over Alex's clit. She could feel Alex's body tightening around her fingers. It was then, as she could hear Alex softly starting to cry, that she could no longer control herself. She picked up her pace and the force behind her movements. She leaned in next to Alex's ear and in the huskiest voice she could muster whispered, "You asked for this." Suddenly, Alex went rigid and Liv withdrew her fingers.

With that, she bent her shoulder into Alex's midsection and lifted her over her shoulder. Carrying the blonde was no problem for her. Knowingly, she walked towards the bedroom, one hand fishing her handcuffs from their case on her belt and the other firmly grabbing Alex's ass. She heavily tossed Alex on the bed. Alex never said a word. Liv didn't know if Alex knew who her attacker was yet.

Liv straddled her, sitting atop her midsection. She stretched Alex's arms over her head and adeptly maneuvered the handcuffs around both of her wrists and one of the bars on the headboard. She slid down and removed Alex's skirt that had, until this point, been pushed around her midsection. And with that, she casually slipped off of the bed and stood looking down on Alex's body.

_She hasn't said a word. Just how far can I take this without damaging myself or her? Shit, why hasn't she said anything? She's just let me do all of this to her without begging me to stop or offering something in return for me stopping. Does she know? How could she know? I've only said one thing. _

_She's wracking her brain trying to figure out if I know whether or not it's her. I knew it was her when I was walking home. I could feel her following me. Sure, she tried to stay in the shadows, and it did scare me a bit. But I think I could feel her from a mile away. And then, as soon as I walked in and she forced me against the wall. The moment she touched me, electricity ran through me. God, that woman turns me on. I've never met someone who can piss me off so much in one instant, and then have me begging for her attention, her touch, her taste in the next instant. I think I'll just play this out a bit, see where it goes._

"Hello? I, uh, don't know if you're still here, but what do you want from me? You broke into my home and you've attacked me. And now…now, I don't know what you're doing. Are you still here? Will you uncover my eyes? Undo the handcuffs? Please," Alex begged her attacker.

No response.

Cries began to shake her body. _What if I'm wrong? What if it's not Liv? Would my body really react to like that to someone else's touch? To a real attacker? I've explained to reluctant witnesses before who thought that a rape was their fault that they can't help the physical reaction their body has to a physical stimulus. Keep your cool, Cabot. Just do whatever he…is it a he…damn, I couldn't tell. The voice was husky, but not too deep, not feminine. _

"Please… sob just tell me what you want. I…," her voice trailed off into soft whimpers and cries."

_She asked for this. But sitting here and watching her, I'm sure that she had no idea how scary this might actually be. Like victims she's worked with, she's probably questioning why her body responded as if she were enjoying this instead of like she was being attacked. God, I can't believe how wet she was by the time I slid my fingers in her. I can't recall her ever being quite that ready for me to fuck her. It was so hard not to …don't go there, Liv. Don't even think that. And now, all I want to do is take all of my clothes off and slide up her body and touch her so softly and delicately, to make up for treating her so rough only minutes ago._

Liv began to pull her clothes off and leave them in a heap on the floor. She moved to the foot of the bed and began to kiss her way up Alex's body. Her hands ran up the outside of Alex's soft, yet muscular legs. Liv planted soft kisses on her abdomen and let her hands travel to Alex's breasts. She made slow circles around each nipple. She moved up and positioned herself so that she was straddling one of Alex's legs and brought one of her own up to rest against Alex's warm, and once again, wet center. She began to run her tongue around the edges of her nipple. She leaned back and blew across the nipple, amazed at how quickly it grew hard. She did the same for Alex's other nipple. Then she took one in her mouth—just between her lips. With the lightest touch of possible, she began to move her tongue over the nipple, half licking it, half flicking it with her tongue. While one was obviously and thoroughly enjoying the attention of her mouth, Liv began to roll the other nipple lightly between her thumb and forefinger. A soft moan escaped Alex's throat. She was beginning to move beneath Liv.

Liv covered Alex's mouth with hers. Lips barely touching lips. She moved her knee harder into Alex, and as she did Alex slowly parted her lips and allowed Liv's tongue to explore her mouth. Liv's hands made their way to Alex's blindfold and removed it from her eyes. Alex kept her eyes closed as Liv moved her mouth to Alex's ear and whispered, "I love you."

"Liv, undo my hands. I need to touch you," Alex begged.

With that, Liv uncuffed Alex. Her hands immediately began to roam over Liv's body as their mouths once again met in a passionate and fiery kiss. Alex began to move her body against Liv, causing both women to softly moan their pleasure. Without notice, Liv broke their kiss and shimmied down Alex's body, trailing kisses all the way down to the insides of her thighs.

The warmth of Alex so close to her face caused Liv's desire to burn even greater. She lightly nibbled and kissed the insides of Alex's thighs. And finally, she settled into Alex. She gently parted her with her fingers, unhurriedly moving her tongue from her wet center to her clit. Liv skillfully and knowingly teased Alex's clit with her tongue. She alternated between flicking it with her tongue and drawing circles around it. One hand was laying on Alex's stomach. Alex began to move beneath her touch. Even through the hand laying on Alex's stomach, Liv could feel her muscles contracting. As she began to gently suck on Alex's sensitive clit, she slowly slid two fingers inside her. Liv established a steady slow rhythm. With each stroke in, her fingers were straight and firm. But on each stroke out, she bent them forward, search for that spot which would send Alex over the edge. She could barely make out Alex saying her name as she played her body like a skilled musician. After only a moment or so, she could feel Alex's body clamp tightly around her fingers. She knew, as had been her experience with Alex many times, that this was the first of many orgasms she could bring her to in the next few minutes. She withdrew her fingers and moved even further down and began to slide her tongue inside Alex. This immediately elicited a cry of pleasure from Alex and she continued fucking her with her tongue for a moment more. One of Alex's hands was now firmly gripping the hair on Liv's head and pulling her even further inside her. Alex was having a hard time controlling her body as her hips moved in unison with Liv's tongue. As another (and then one more) orgasm subsided, Liv moved back up Alex's body.

_How the fuck did I get so lucky? Look at this blonde beneath me! If love could sustain me, I'd never get out of bed._

Liv's thoughts were interrupted when she was suddenly flipped over. Alex may have been small, but she worked out and was able to swiftly flip Liv over and straddle her, all in one motion. "Baby, you know I prefer being on top when you fuck me," Alex said hungrily to Liv. With that, she grabbed Liv's hand and guided it back inside her. Alex began to ride Liv's hand, and reached down and grabbed Liv's breasts to steady herself. Brown eyes met blue, and the lovers connected, and came.

Liv was sitting at her desk chewing on a coffee stirrer when Alex walked in. Without making eye contact, she knocked on the Captain's door and entered. Olivia sat at her desk trying to hide the cocky smile that was playing at the edge of her lips. As she rubbed the fading bruises on her wrists, she thought back to that night. Alex had been amazing. The entire night had been amazing. But they had barely spoken since then. Why?

Liv sat and waited for Alex to exit the Captain's office. Her phone rang. "Benson," she answered. "Dammit. Where? …Okay, we're on our way."

"That's for us. DB found in the park. Looks like that teenager we've been looking for the last couple of weeks," Liv shared with her partner as she pulled her jacket on and holstered her gun. She hated these calls. She dealt so much better with the calls concerning adults. The only thing worse than the calls about teens were the ones for little kids. She didn't know how she'd stomached this job for years without completely snapping.

They arrived at the scene about twenty minutes after receiving the call only to come upon a sea of reporters. As they climbed out of the car, they battled cameras and microphones being shoved in their faces. "No comment," Elliot said as he brushed past the reporter for Channel 7.

"Detective Benson, now that you've located the body of Cynthia Woodard, will you be charging her father with her murder?" the persistent reporter asked as she shoved a microphone in Liv's face.

"I'm sure you're aware of the way in which our legal system works. First of all, we've yet to positively identify the body that was found here a short time ago. Secondly, the District Attorney will review the evidence we collect and decide what, if any, charges should be filed and against whom they will be filed. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do," Liv huffed to the reporter.

"Is it her?" Liv asked Elliot.

"Hard to tell. M.E. says she was in the water for a few days before she washed up on the shore. Same color hair, height and weight are consistent. I think we're gonna have to wait on DNA for this one," he said as he walked back to the car.

"Cabot," Alex said as she answered the ringing phone.

"Alex, this is Liv. We found Cynthia Woodard this morning. DNA just came back a positive match. What direction do you want us to go with this? I mean, her father is a city councilman," she stated.

"Has he been informed yet?" Alex asked.

"Kinda hard for him not to know at this point. By the time that Elliot and I arrived on the scene, the press was everywhere. They're already speculating that we're going to charge Woodard with his kid's murder."

"Well, invite him in for a conversation and express our condolences. I'm sure he's going to hire some fancy-ass lawyer to represent him from the outset, so don't be shocked when he says he wants to bring one with him."

"Mr. Woodard, we're very sorry for your loss. We know this is a difficult time, but we need to ask you a few questions about Cynthia and the circumstances surrounding her disappearance," Liv stated as they entered the Interrogation Room. She was shocked by the woman she found sitting next to Woodard.

Elliot shoved past Liv and walked over and hugged Abbie. "How the hell are you, councilor? Long time, no see. I thought you were sticking with corporate law. I had no idea you were moving to the dark side and working in criminal law again. I imagine sitting on that side of the table is a change in scenery."

Her cool demeanor spoke volumes as she responded, "Elliot, Olivia. I'll be here advising Councilman Woodard with regards to any questions you may have concerning his daughter's murder. As you've already said, this is a very difficult time, and the Councilman is anxious to help you in anyway that he can."

"Good. Great. So, Councilman, we've pulled your phone records, credit card statements, and interviewed your driver. Turns out that you spoke to her twice the evening that she disappeared. You had dinner at a restaurant around the corner from her apartment, and your driver has indicated that he dropped you off at her apartment shortly after 9pm that evening. All of this is information that you omitted when we first spoke to you a couple of weeks ago when this investigation began. Now, here's my question. Whatcha hiding?" Liv inquired of him.

"Councilman Woodard isn't hiding anything, Detectives. Your records should indicate that he frequently called his daughter. They should also indicate that he often had dinner at that restaurant because an associate of his lives in that area. As for his driver dropping him off at the apartment, the driver is mistaken. He never saw her that evening," Abbie retorted as calm and collected as usual.

"Okay," Elliot interrupted. "Perhaps he can explain why Cynthia's friends have stated that Councilman Woodard had been threatening her because of her sexual proclivities."

"I'm sure you're aware that third party testimony—heresay-- is inadmissible in court, Detective. Unless these 'friends' heard these threats firsthand, they'll never be heard by a jury," Abbie answered.

"While we really appreciate you being here Ms. Carmichael, your client hasn't an opportunity to talk. Instead of advising him, you've been responding to our questions. No one has said anything about court, juries, or admissibility but you. We're just here to have a conversation—to clear up some questions we have. After all, I'm sure your client is anxious to find the bastard that did this to his daughter," Liv interjected.

"This conversation is over. Is my client under arrest, if not, we're leaving. Tell your ADA that unless you're willing to press charges, you need to steer clear of my client," Abbie said as she exited the Interrogation Room.

"What a piece of work! I can't believe you used to fuck her," was all that Elliot could say as he left the room as well.

Left alone in the room, Liv turned to the two-way glass and spoke, "You've barely spoken to me since that night. I only did what you asked. I knew this would happen, which is why I didn't want to do it. But you insisted. I hope you're happy, because I'm miserable now." She sat in the chair normally reserved for a perp, and just stared at the glass. She knew Alex had been there watching. She always showed up for an interview. She'd never miss one as high profile as this. This was a make-or-break your career case, and Alex was always interested in making her career.

She stood and watched the older woman bury her face in her hands. Why was it so hard for her to talk to Liv now? Yes, she had done what she had asked, no pleaded, for her to do. Now, every time she looked at Liv, she was reminded of that night. Reminded of her own guilt for basically manipulating Liv into doing something she obviously felt uncomfortable doing. How could she resolve these conflicting feelings she was having? On the one hand, she had severely enjoyed the experience. On the other, it had scared her that Liv actually did it. Maybe Liv was right, she had played with fire and had been burned. She had possibly ruined the one good thing she had going on for her. She just needed to get over it. What's the best way to get past this?

Alex exited the observation room and entered the Interrogation Room. Liv didn't even lift her head. Alex crossed the room and sat on the edge of the table, leaving her long, slender legs dangling over the side. "Liv, look at me. I'm sorry, I basically manipulated you into doing something you didn't want to do. I don't regret it. I think the bruises on your wrists are evidence enough that I enjoyed what we did. nervous laugh I just got scared. It scared me that I enjoyed it the way I did. Come here, Liv."

Liv stood up and placed herself directly in front of Alex. Alex, still seated on the table, wrapped her arms around Liv's waist and pulled her closer. She slid her hands under Liv's shirt and started to slide them up her back as their mouths met. The kiss was gentle at first, lips barely parted. But it grew. Alex traced Liv's bottom lip with her tongue before beginning to gently suck on it. Liv did the same to Alex's top lip. They moved back to a full kiss, their tongues performing a delicate ballet with each other. Alex and Liv both knew how important this kiss was—how important this moment was. It had to be perfect, simple, and passionate—all at once. Liv had moved her hands under Alex's shirt and was gently massaging her breasts. Alex broke the kiss and began to kiss Liv's neck. She lightly nipped her way to Liv's ear and gently bit her earlobe, eliciting a low moan from Liv. "Baby," Alex said, "I really need you to fuck me right now."

Liv's response confused the hell out of Alex. She broke away from her and left the room. Alex sat stunned, trying to figure out what had happened. Had she misunderstood or misinterpreted Liv's interest in what they were doing? "Fuck it!" was all she could say as she straightened her clothes, grabbed her briefcase and left the room.

Liv pulled her collar up around her neck as she left the precinct. The only thing she could think at that moment was that she needed some space. She needed to be away from Alex. After waiting all this time for her to talk to her, the only thing she wanted now was to get her voice out of her head. She pulled her cell out of her phone and called the one person that she knew would help her get the voice out of her head. "Abbie, would you meet me at Finnegans as soon as you can?"

She sat at the first empty barstool she came to and ordered a double Scotch. She was on her third double when that sexy bedroom voice said, "Trying to drown your sorrows or gain some courage, Detective?" Liv turned around and found herself face to face with Abbie. "We're getting out of here," Abbie said as she took Liv's hand and pulled her toward the exit. She hailed a taxi and gave the driver Liv's address. Abbie was about to face Liv when she heard her whimper. She knew the older woman would never forgive her if she actually looked at her while she was crying. Instead, she simply took Liv's hand in hers.

She got Liv out of the cab and helped her up the stairs to her apartment. "I think she's fucking playing with my head. She wants that, I give it to her. Then she acts all distant. She won't talk to me. Then she shows up and tried to get me to fuck her in the Interrogation Room. I mean, what the fuck is that all about? My partner and boss and God knows who else only feet away and she wants me to do her right there on the table where I interrogate people. What kind of game is she playing with me? You were never like that. It was always simple with you. I mean, not that you're simple. You're not simple, but our relationship was simple. I did my thing, you did yours. We managed to meet somewhere in the middle. At least we did until you left. And now you're back. And now, Alex….fuck, what am I going to do about her? I don't think I can…."

At that moment, Abbie cut Liv's comments short with a forceful kiss that literally knocked Liv on her ass. As Abbie was kissing her, she fell backwards onto the couch. Abbie looked down at her and smiled. She took her coat off and draped it over a nearby chair. Liv looked at her and curled her fingers toward her to join her on the couch. Abbie obliged her request.

She straddled one of Liv's legs and they immediately fell back into a kiss. Liv's hands deftly slid under Abbie's shirt and unfastened her bra. They barely broke their kiss long enough to remove the shirt and bra. Abbie managed to pull Liv's shirt out of her pants and slid down and began to kiss her stomach as Liv pulled her own shirt and bra off. Liv reached down and grabbed Abbie's head and pulled her back up and began to kiss her again. Noticing that Abbie was moving against her leg, Liv lifted it slightly, giving Abbie more to grind against. Abbie responded by moving her knee against Liv, and applying more pressure. Both women began to moan their pleasure. Abbie dipped her head into the crook of Liv's neck and began to kiss and nibble on her neck and Liv played with her nipples. That put Abbie over the edge and nearly cost Liv her since Abbie's mouth was next to her ear when the orgasm hit her.

Abbie collected herself and slid down Liv's body, taking Liv's pants with her. She put Liv's legs over her shoulders and began to kiss and bite at the insides of Liv's thighs. "Don't tease me. Either fuck me or get off me," Liv said through clenched teeth.

"Fuck you or get off you?" Abbie asked. "I think I'll fuck you."

They never heard the door open or anyone walk in. As Abbie was sucking on Liv's clit, she felt someone watching her. She stopped what she was doing and looked over her shoulder to be met with a slap to the face. "Shit! What the fuck?" Abbie screamed as she rolled off of Liv.

"Alex! What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't just barge into my apartment and start hitting people!" Liv was screaming at Alex as she frantically tried to pull her pants back on. Abbie was pulling her shirt on.

Alex was obviously shaken. She was crying and sat down on the edge of the couch, before she realized where she was sitting. She immediately jumped up and sat in the empty chair. "How could you?" was all that she could eek out between sobs. "I came here to make a romantic dinner to make up for whatever it was that I did today. I didn't expect…I….My god Liv, why would you do this? And with her? First of all, it's an obvious conflict of interest since she's defending a man that we're going to indict for murder. Second of all, she's your ex. And third of all, I thought we were a co…," Alex cut herself off and stood up, straightening her clothes. "I was obviously mistaken about what we meant to one another. And obviously you have different intentions than I do. I'm sorry to have disrupted your evening. I hope that you two can pick up where you left off." Alex began to walk toward the door and was opening it when she felt herself being jerked backwards. When she whirled around to slap Liv, she was shocked that it wasn't Liv pulling her away from the door.

"Look, I'm not sure what the hell is going on between the two of you, but I know both of you. Yes, Liv and I have a history. And I'm sorry you're incapable of understanding what is going on here. I wouldn't even be here if I hadn't run into her at Finnegan's drunk off of her ass and crying into her Scotch. We came back here to talk and I initiated everything. She loves you. That's all she's talked about. And Alex, there's no need for you to pretend that you've never had any indiscretions. As a matter of fact, I think Liv deserves to know so that maybe she'll quit beating herself up over you," Abbie turned to direct her comments to Liv. "Liv, Tuesday I saw Alex at a bar—the one you used to troll for women. Anyway, I asked her to dance. You know how that place is. Once we had a few drinks in us and the beat hit us, we made our way back to my hotel. I think you can imagine what happened next."

Liv looked stunned and shocked. It was as if her world was crashing in slow motion around her. Abbie and Alex both looked at her and began to walk toward her simultaneously. As Liv began to collapse, both women grabbed her and walked her to the bedroom and put her on the bed. "I can't believe you'd tell her about that. What good does it do for her to know what happened between us? You're a cold-hearted, self-serving, bitch. I don't know what Liv ever saw in you," Alex seethed.

"What she saw in me? You're an uptight, pretentious bitch who thinks she knows everything. You treated Liv like shit. You have no idea what I'd give to be with her again. I left D.C. to come back here hoping that there might still be a chance for us. Instead, she's all obsessed with you. All night, I hear 'Alex this, Alex that.' Frankly, I just don't get it. One of these days, I'm sure you'll choke on that silver spoon you were born with in your mouth," Abbie fired back.

With that last comment, Alex slapped her again. Without even blinking, Abbie slapped her back. When Alex went to swing again, Abbie caught her hand. Alex tried once again with her free hand, but Abbie caught that one as well. She pulled Alex close to her. "There's a fine line between love and hate, Counselor. Do you want to fight me, or do you want to fuck me?" Abbie asked with anger in her voice.

"Frankly, I wouldn't mind seeing the two of you in bed. It would be really hot," Liv shocked them with her comment. She had obviously come to from fainting moments earlier.

"I have a better idea," Alex said as she winked at Abbie. With that, Alex and Abbie both climbed on the bed with Liv.

17


	2. Chapter 2

"I said that I wouldn't mind seeing the two of you in bed. I didn't mean in bed with me," Olivia protested as both Abbie and Alex climbed on either side of her. "One of you has always been more than enough for me." Liv moved to get up, but was quickly subdued by the two beautiful women on either side of her. She was in no way possibly prepared for what was about to happen.

Abbie began gently pulling Olivia's shirt out of her pants, giving her access to the taut stomach of the detective. Her fingers knowingly played across Liv's stomach. With each movement of her fingers, Liv squirmed beneath her. Like a pianist, Abbie knew just which chords to play on Liv.

Not to be outdone by the sexy Texan, Alex focused on Liv's neck—nipping from the collarbone to her earlobe—eliciting a low growl that caused a smile to grow on Alex's face. Like Abbie, she knew exactly _where_ to touch Liv. She knew exactly _how_ to touch Liv. She knew exactly _when_ to touch Liv. She knew _what_ to do to Liv to put her over the edge.

As Alex worked the buttons on Liv's shirt, Abbie nimbly unfastened her belt and pants. Abbie and Alex exchanged a quick glance before exchanging which half of Liv's body they were focusing their ministrations on—Alex moving to her lower half while Abbie began to focus on her upper body.

Never one to waste time, Abbie made short work of Liv's bra—hastily removing it from her and tossing it across the room. She vaguely noticed one of Liv's hands running through her hair as she lowered her warm mouth onto a suddenly hard nipple. As her tongue grazed over Liv's nipple, she felt Liv move beneath her. She hoped that Liv's responses were to _her_ touch and not to Alex's. As she alternated between sucking, licking, and biting at Liv's nipple, she used her free hand to tweak and twist her other nipple.

While Abbie worked over Liv's upper half, Alex slowly kissed her way across Liv's stomach and ran her fingertips lightly up and down her legs. Although she had her "eye on the prize," Alex wanted to draw this out. She wanted Liv at the peak of her excitement so that she would practically melt. She sought out, and found, Liv's hand. Entwining their fingers, she huskily asked, "What else do you want baby?"

Alex's voice brought her back to her senses. _What do I want? _"I want both of you to stop." With that Liv, rolled off of the bed, grabbed her clothes and backed out of the room saying, "Just stay away from me. I didn't want this (motioning between the three of them). I'm not into sharing."


	3. Chapter 3

**Olivia's thoughts as she walks away from her apartment**

_How could they think that I'd want to be in a threesome with the two of them? I can barely last physically with them individually—but to have the two of them double-teaming me. But it wasn't about the sex. I've spent plenty of time playing the field—I just want to settle down. I had wanted that with Abbie until she took off and went to DC. I was totally lost when she left—a ship without a harbor—until I gave in to Alex. My sweet, beautiful, intimidating Alex. _

_And now—everything is just fucked. Maybe it's my fault. First I walk away from Alex at the precinct. Then I get drunk and let Abbie fuck me. And I lashed out at Alex when she showed up. And I did make the smartass comment about seeing the two of them together. What the hell was I thinking? Well, I definitely know what you were thinking with, Benson. _

_How am I going to fix this? Do I even want to fix this? I mean, now Alex knows about my history with Abbie—not that it was ever intended to be a secret. It was just something I conveniently never got around to telling her about. The last thing I wanted was her thinking I made it my mission to sleep with the ADAs assigned to our unit. I only have myself to blame for that—I should have told her before I pulled that stupid ass stunt to fulfill her fantasy._

_But then, for Abbie to confess that she went to the bar and took Alex back to her hotel room. How am I supposed to be with Alex now? And Alex seeing me laying there with Abbie between my legs. Would she even want to be with me now? That's just…grrrrrr. I can't even wrap my mind around this. _

**Meanwhile, back at Liv's apartment….**

Two very stunned, very hot lawyers sat on Liv's bed trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

"Why did you bother showing up here tonight?" Abbie was the first to break the silence. "Haven't you done enough damage to Liv without trying to mindfuck her? You pressed her into doing something that she obviously had very strong feelings about. For Christsake's Alex, she's only here because her mother was raped and you have this whole fantasy thing you want her to fulfill. Do you have any idea what she had to go through to do that for you? 'Cause it was all for you, Alex. That wasn't about her. She arrests people who do that and you prosecute them who do the very thing you asked her to do. And you turn around and basically ignore her afterwards. And you must have a set on you to proposition her _at work_ after pulling that shit. And then you come here—uninvited—and start shit again. Not to mention the fact—"

"Just shut up. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'm sick of hearing you talk. You want to sit there and sling accusations at me. How about you? Things get too intense for you with Liv and what do you do? You leave town like a coward. You have no idea what you did to her. I do. I was here. I picked up the pieces. It took forever for her to open up. We were finally starting to get somewhere and you show up again. None of this would have happened if you had kept your ass in DC and away from Liv. And you just had to tell her about the other night—the bar—your hotel. She didn't need to know that," Alex retorted emotionally.

"Well, what I didn't tell her about the other night was how insistent you were on accompanying me back to my hotel. YOU initiated _everything_, Alex. Now, I'll admit, I didn't stop you. And we both know we had a good time. But, if you love Liv the way you profess to love her, would you have done any of that? Would you have made her do something she didn't want? Would you have treated her so badly afterwards? Would you have slept with her ex? I don't get what makes you tick. Is there a little too much blue blood in your family?"

Abbie realized she had gone too far in her comments when the blonde got up from the bed and walked around to face her. With ice in her veins and normally blue eyes black with venom, the prosecutor in Alex took over. "Abbie, I don't really care what you think of me. When I slept with you, I was merely using you. I wanted to find out what it was about you that Liv had been so attracted to—what it was about you that left a hole in her that I tried desperately for months to fill. Frankly, I don't get it. What I do get is that I have hurt one person I love more than anything else in this world and I have no idea how to make it right."

With that, Alex grabbed what clothing she had removed and walked into Liv's bathroom to dress. When she came out, she found herself alone in Liv's apartment. Defeated, Abbie had obviously left. For the first time ever, Alex found herself wandering around Liv's apartment. The few times she had been here, Liv had done her best to usher her out quickly. Without Liv there to watch over her shoulder and push her out the door, Alex was able to take her time and look around. She had always believed that a person's home gave a clear picture of who that person was. Because Liv had always done her best to push her out of the door as soon as she entered, she had never been able to gauge what Liv's apartment "said" about her as a person.

Everything was neat and tidy. _Everything_ obviously had a place. Alex knew that the Liv was organized, but this definitely reflected that. The decorations were sparse—a minimalist approach. Alex smiled and thought to herself that Liv probably just didn't want to have to dust a lot of stuff. There were equally as few pictures around the apartment. In fact, Alex discovered only a few in the living room. One of Liv with an older woman—Alex assumed it was her mother. There was one of Liv with Elliot and his family at a family barbecue. Alex's heart sank when she spotted the last photo. It was of Liv and Abbie. They were both smiling and Liv had her chin resting on Abbie's shoulder. They were both turned slightly towards each other. It was obvious to anyone who was looking at the picture that they were in love.

Alex picked up the frame and studied the picture further. She didn't recognize where the picture had been taken. It was then that something caught her eye—the necklace that Liv was wearing. She had given that necklace to Liv a month after they had started dating. Alex suddenly made the connection. Liv had seen Abbie since they had been together. Maybe she had been wrong about everything.


	4. Chapter 4

"The pictures of my friends and family are in this room," Liv said as she approached Alex who was now seated on the couch just staring at the photo of Abbie and Liv. Liv took the photo out of Alex's hands and placed it back on the shelf. "That photo was taken after you and I had been together for a couple of months. I never told you about going to DC to see Abbie because I was afraid of how you'd react. You had gone upstate to visit your mother and I was here alone. I knew you weren't ready to tell your family about us—which is why you didn't bother inviting me to go with you. I needed to tell someone. I needed someone to know how I felt about you. Going to see Abbie—that wasn't about seeing Abbie. It was about me telling her that I was in love with you. It was me telling her that I had moved on. It was me making sure that part of my life had ended. That picture was taken when we went out after I had told her about us," Liv explained.

She sat down on the coffee table so that she was facing Alex and took both of her hands. "Al, look at me. The last few weeks…well, they've been torture for me. I—we—can't go back and undo all of it—the fantasy—Abbie—but we can move forward. I don't know how all of it will work—or if it will work. I just know that I can't live with myself without knowing that we at least gave it a shot." She stood up and pulled Alex's hands to lift her to her feet as well. "Follow me. I want you to see something," Liv said as she led Alex to her bedroom. "Look around. What do you notice?"

Alex glanced around the room. "I don't know. What am I supposed to be looking for?"

"Look on the dresser & on my nightstand. What do you see?"

Alex crossed the room to the dresser. On it, she found a picture of herself apparently deep in thought. "I took that picture at your office when I first got that digital camera. Remember? My God, you looked so incredibly sexy like that. Your glasses in your hand, head bowed, hair falling around your face—framing it perfectly. I don't think I've ever seen someone as sexy as you are when you're so deep in thought," Liv explained. "What else do you see here?"

Alex continued looking at the items on the dresser. The simple black velvet box that had once contained the necklace she gave to Liv sat prominently on the dresser. There were several notes and cards stacked together beneath the box. She didn't have to look through them. She recognized them as notes she had given Liv since their time together. Glancing at the mirror that hung above the dresser, her eyes were drawn to various ticket stubs tucked into the frame. "That one there is from our first date. I can't believe I let you choose that movie. And that one there is from the concert we went to the following weekend. That leaf—remember walking through the woods in Vermont that day before we made love for the first time?" Liv walked up behind Alex and wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her back against her.

Alex pulled away and turned to face Liv, crossing her arms over her chest. "What's this all supposed to mean? Am I supposed to forget walking in and finding Abbie between your legs? Are you supposed to forget Abbie telling you that she and I slept together? Am I supposed to forgive myself for manipulating you into fulfilling my fantasy?" Tears began to fall from Alex's eyes as she walked toward the door leading from the room.

"Alex, there's one more thing you need to see. Look in the drawer on your side of the bed," Liv pleaded with her.

Alex crossed to the side of the bed that she slept on the few times she stayed at Liv's apartment and opened the drawer.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex opened the drawer while maintaining eye contact with Liv. She looked down and an expression that Olivia didn't understand crossed her face.

"Al, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing. I mean, it's an empty drawer. What's so special about that?"

"Alex, how many relationships have you actually had?"

"Olivia Benson, you know very well, that I've not had many serious relationships at all. And none that were serious with women. I don't understand what that has to do with an empty drawer. Care to explain?"

Olivia laughed out loud and crossed the room to sit on the bed in front of Alex. "Al, an empty drawer in a lover's home is a big deal."

"An empty drawer is a big deal? I really don't understand. Usually when I come over, I bring an overnight bag. What do I need a drawer for?"

Shaking her head, she took Alex's hand and pulled her onto the bed beside her. "With a drawer here, you wouldn't have to always lug that overnight bag. You could put a suit in the closet. You can put a toothbrush on the sink. You can even put your favorite shampoo in my shower. It's what the drawer represents. Sure, right now, it's empty. But I want you to fill it. I want pieces of you around. If I can't come home to you every day, I at least want to know I can come home knowing that parts of you are here."

"Liv, the 'come home knowing that parts of you are here' is straight from that confession by Belliard last year. Remember the guy who killed his lover and kept parts of him in the freezer? Just don't say you want to keep parts of me around, okay? I know what you mean, but that just sounds creepy."

Frustrated, Olivia went to stand only to find her hand being held by Alex. She tried to walk away, but Alex held her firmly. "Let go," she demanded softly. "No," Alex replied. "Fine," Liv said as she pushed Alex back on the bed and lay half on top of her.

"Dammit. Why do you have to always make things more difficult than they need to be? I wonder what you'd be like if you weren't a damn ADA. Look, I love you. Despite what happened, or what might happen, I want to be with you. I don't think there's anything we can't handle—well, nothing short of one of us going into protective custody and never being able to see the other again—that I couldn't handle. Anything other than that, I can handle—we can handle. Proposing we live together seems too soon given the recent escapades we've been dealing with. But asking you to keep some of your things here was a big step for me, Al. You have a key to my place. NO ONE has ever had a key. Now, I'm giving you drawer space—an offer that most people seem to understand is a BIG deal. I'm willing to overlook your lack of experience in matters like these, but I need to know where we stand. Your answer is going to say a lot about our future—or lack of a future."

Alex shifted her weight to roll them over, placing herself on top of Olivia. "I hope you know how much I love you. I mean, really truly deeply love you. I can't forget what we've done to one another. I can't forgive myself or expect you to forgive me, either. I don't know where we go from here."

Olivia closed her eyes as flashes of all the happy moments she had shared with Alex played in her mind. The realization that they were attracted to each other--their tentative flirting in the office—the first time Liv caught Alex watching her from across the room—the first date—the first kiss—the first time they had sex—the first night they spent together—the first time they really made love—waking up to Alex's attempt at breakfast in bed—fighting over the sports section in the _New York Times_ on Sunday morning—their first trip together to a bed and breakfast in Vermont. Not one single bad memory came back to Liv—even the recent ones that were threatening to end their relationship. She opened her eyes, now brimming with tears, and said, "I know I want to spend my life with you. There is no indecision on my part. All of the moments we've shared—good and bad—I want a million more of those. You---me—always—that's what I want. I have a very simple 'yes or no' question for you, Alex. Do you want to be with me?"

"Liv, it's not that simple," Alex stated as she pushed herself off of Olivia and the bed and put some distance between them.

"It's very simple. Right this moment, you make a decision. You're either with me or you're not. You stay or you leave. I live in a very black and white world, Alex. There's not room for shades of gray in my life. What's it going to be?"

"Liv, let's just give this some time, see where we're going. See if we can get back on track," Alex pleaded.

"I don't want 'ifs' or 'maybes', Alexandra Cabot. I want you—all of you. Do I have you?"

"If that's my only choice, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," was all she said as she walked out of the crumbling world of Olivia Benson.


	6. Chapter 6

_Two weeks later…_

Elliott walked into the squad room like he did every other morning. Only this morning, something was different. Olivia's desk was empty. "What's going on here," he asked Munch and Fin.

"I dunno. Desk was empty when I got in," Fin said.

"Cap'n, where's Liv's stuff? Did I piss her off again and she run off to play with the computer geeks again?"

"No, you didn't. And no, she didn't."

"Then what gives? Where's she at, Cap?"

"I'm sorry, I can't say," Cragen said as he disappeared behind his now shut office door.

Elliott picked up the phone and dialed Liv's number. It was disconnected. _What the hell is going on? She's been so depressed for the last two weeks over this shit with Alex. And now, her desk is empty, her phone is disconnected and Cragen is saying shit. I wonder if Alex knows what is going on._

He would soon get his answer as the ADA appeared around a corner.

"Detective, I need to speak to your par…Why is Olivia's desk empty? I've been trying to call for several days. Her home phone is disconnected and her cell says her voice mail is full. I call here and I'm told she no longer works here. What the fuck is going on?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing, Counselor. I've worked with her for seven years and I come in and suddenly she's gone? Without a word? I think we both know who is to blame for this," he shot back at her.

"You have no right to speak to me that way," she stepped closer to Elliott than she'd ever been and put a finger in his face. "What happened between me and Olivia is none of your fucking business, Stabler. I'm the Ice Queen, remember? That was your little nickname for me, right? Well, I didn't have room for Olivia in my life. I have aspirations, goals, political inclinations and.."

"Having a cop for a girlfriend didn't fit in with all of that? Just tell me counselor, was it the cop part of the girlfriend part that finally made you realize that you didn't have room for Olivia in your life?" he interrupted her.

Alex's flattened palm connected squarely with Elliott's face. "Whoa, Alex. Don't get hittin' an officer—even if it is Elliott," Fin warned her.

"Counselor, in my office. NOW!" Cragen said.

As if her emotional outburst had never occurred, Alex grabbed her bag and strode confidently into Cragen's office. "What can I do for you today, Captain?" she asked him.

"It's not what you can do for me. It's what I can do for you. Olivia left this for you," he handed her a box as he said this.

"She's not coming back, is she?" Alex asked with the voice of a small child.

Cragen shook his head in response and sat behind his desk. "I think you should probably take that box and get out of here. I'm sure you want to go through it, and I don't think my guys can deal with having you around right now. They're going to be blaming you sooner or later."

She acknowledged him with a slight nod of her head and left the office. On her way out of the precinct, she called her office and told her secretary to cancel her appointments for the day that she didn't feel well and was headed home for the afternoon.

Once safely inside her apartment, Alex sat on the couch that she had spent so many evenings cuddled with Liv on and opened the box. The contents inside were simple and to anyone else, the meaning would be insignificant. Alex began to cry as she lifted each object out. They were the things that Liv had pointed out in her room only a few weeks before. The black velvet box, ticket stubs, a leaf, cards and notes, pictures of Alex alone, and pictures of the two of them together. The key to Alex's apartment was tucked inside the box. CDs, books, a pair of Alex's glasses—anything that would have remotely reminded Liv of Alex was tucked inside that box. As Alex was placing the items back in the box, she noticed an envelope was taped to the inside of the lid of the box. She pulled it loose and read it.

_Alexandra,_

_I want you to know that I'll never regret any of the time I spent with you. I don't believe I truly began to live until you became a part of my life. I can't face the reality of living in the same city as you, much less working with you on a daily basis and knowing that I can never have you quite the way I want you. The box I left for you contains the tokens I've collected of our relationship. I can't erase the memories, but I can get rid of the reminders. I hope that one day, you'll find the peace you're looking for and deserve. I had so hoped that you would find that in me, but I understand. _

_Best wishes,_

_  
Olivia_

Suddenly it hit Alex. Liv was really gone. Alexandra Cabot, the Ice Queen, had played with fire and had been severely burned.


End file.
